How shy children become more confident


When the child is shy, parents often worry. Sometimes it doesn’t take much to give him/her more self-confidence.

“Shyness can have different reasons and is sometimes also distinctive.” In general, it can be said that almost half of shy children have a rather reserved temperament. But a change in living conditions can also lead to shyness: entering playgroup, starting school, changing schools, moving, pressure to perform, arguments in the family, secrets and restrictions or a confused everyday life – all of these can lead to the child suddenly becoming inhibited.

Of course, the style of upbringing and the family home also influence how a child’s personality develops. If the parents are reluctant and fearful themselves, this often carries over to the child. If, on the other hand, they are too dominant and performance-oriented, the already inhibited children become even more insecure and they have the feeling that they cannot satisfy their parents. As a result, they withdraw even further.

In order to increase self-confidence, it is important that parents value their child. Parents should show him that they love him for what it is. That is why he advises avoiding comments like, I wish my daughter were more open and open-minded. Or: My son should go out of himself more so that he becomes successful. Such sentences are counterproductive and only put unnecessary, additional pressure on the child. The expert advises holding back with reminders and instead staying calm and empowering the child.

Boost self-confidence

There are various ways to help the youngsters become a little more open. Especially if they are left out in their own four walls and only shy outside, it can be of great help when they get a visit from playmates. The child can play more relaxed in familiar surroundings than in a large group outside the home. For this purpose affirmation cards for kids is the best choice. With these cards children play at home and school and learn through fun. In this way he learns many social skills and experiences the joy of playing with others. Contact with younger people is also valuable for shy children. Then they enjoy being admired as the ‘great ones’.

Help the child

It is also important to support the child in situations that are uncomfortable for them. For example, if the child does not dare to say something to someone, the parents should open the conversation and involve the child later. Especially with small children, imaginary journeys also help to develop more self-confidence: Parents can tell the child about a situation in which they were particularly brave – even if the child only dared to say hello to the neighbor. By reliving the situation in the fantasy positively, it is strengthened for later similar situations.

Exercises that require a powerful demeanor and assertiveness also train self-confidence. For example a screaming duel: The winner is whoever shouts the loudest or can make the craziest grimaces.

Practice with role play

Children can best practice difficult everyday situations in advance in role-play at home. For example, with the grocery store they learn to place an order in the store. The child easily slips into different roles and tries them out. That helps to become more open and courageous. “Whether the shyness almost disappears “also depends on the experiences the child has with other people over the years and how strong the fears are that lead to the shyness.”

But even if someone remains cautious as an adult that does not automatically mean that they are less successful at work than colleagues. A long-term study accompanied children for over 20 years showed that ultimately shy people are just as successful as their more open-minded competitors.


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